Do you remember on Saturday Night Live in the 90’s Stuart Smalley? He was a motivational speaker who would sit in front of a mirror and tell himself “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me.” Well. I did that a little while ago. I sat there staring at myself telling myself that I’m ok. That the world is scary but it’s worth living in. Repeatedly for a good ten minutes. Tears in my eyes. But it made the tears not fall. The reason I was having to do it was some stupid shit someone said on facebook. It had nothing to do with me personally I just have too many things in my head to then see awful things people say. I need a break from social media. At least until after the election. It is just not worth letting people get to me.
Yesterday in therapy I said how bored I was. I am not one to be bored. My anxiety and depression were lower than they had been for so long and twas uncomfortable. How stupid is that? And I had to say something right? I’m emotionally done with today and I want to just hide in bed. But I have to babysit so I put my big girl leggings on and I’m about to go in. I just wanted to get this out while it was in my head.